I touch your asshole with great reverence as I grease it up for the thundergod.
THE KING IS DEAD
Also
We're going to the early bird Hangover tomorrow

?

So be emotionally and logistically prepared

What is that?

I forget that you are like a child

An asshole warm and inviting, but terrible bed talk

I have a lesson for you about the elasticity of of the human colon.
And this is a MAGNET school

:-(

I value an education though

*fist into mashed potatoes*

My hands smell like sin

Mmm

I'll ravage you like a ship sick conquistador

So hot

How's the brew

A bubbly little girl

Sassy

I just want to tear her strawberry shortcake panties off and take teary photographs of her

<3 u ;-)

I'm going to put a filter on the lens, so you don't trigger the kill instinct. I pour the kibble in your ass and release the dogs

...

Oh dear. My vinegar is up again.
You will take quite an internal beating

ENGAGE THE FUNKOTRON

I'm going to take you to the farmer's market and buy you so much corn

...

You know just how to treat a girl

Like a cow
I have the swine flu
In a vault
And I swear that I will serve it up in a soup kitchen
If you don't fill every one of those toys for tots bins

I will feed primacord up your ass like a colonoscope.

You are like Zach Galifianakis, you need a beard

I need nothing
I DON'T NEED YOU
I DON'T NEED ANYBODY

You need a beard to hide your hideousness

I note with displeasure that your taint is lukewarm at best

;-)

You've been icing

Yes, I'm glad you noticed

Good good
Keep it chill
Keep it fresh

Just for you

:-)

I'll teach you that flesh has only a finite strength rating. I'll teach you that man can be broken.